SmartExaminers
💡 7 Signs You’re Being Gaslit — and How to Reclaim Your Power
By Annah Daniel – SmartExaminers Editorial Team
For women recovering from narcissistic partners or family members
🔦 What Is Gaslighting?
Gaslighting is one of those words I didn’t understand until I lived it.
It's not just lying or manipulating — it’s a systematic form of emotional abuse designed to make you doubt your reality, your feelings, and your worth.
“Gaslighting is the systematic attempt by one person to erode another's reality by telling them that what they are experiencing isn't so — and, the gradual giving up on the part of the other person.”
— Dr. Robin Stern, author of The Gaslight Effect
I used to constantly question myself:
"Did I overreact? Was it really my fault? Maybe I am too sensitive?"
If you’ve ever felt this way, I want you to know:
You’re not alone, and you’re not crazy.
⚠️ The 7 Subtle Signs You're Being Gaslit
Gaslighting isn’t always loud or obvious. In fact, it thrives in subtlety.
Here are seven red flags I wish I had recognized sooner:
1️⃣ You Constantly Apologize
You find yourself apologizing for everything: for expressing your feelings, for asking questions — even for existing.
2️⃣ You’re Told You’re “Too Sensitive”
They dismiss your feelings with phrases like:
"You’re overreacting," or "You’re too emotional."
3️⃣ You Second-Guess Your Own Memory
You recall events clearly — but they deny them. You start doubting your own mind.
4️⃣ You Feel Like You’re the Problem
Somehow, every issue is your fault. You might even wonder: "Am I the narcissist?"
5️⃣ You’re Isolated from Friends and Family
They slowly convince you your loved ones are “toxic.” Isolation makes control easier.
6️⃣ You Make Excuses for Their Behavior
You say things like:
"They had a rough childhood."
"They didn’t mean it."
Deep down, you know it’s not okay.
7️⃣ You’re Afraid to Speak Up
You avoid expressing yourself — every conversation turns into a fight, or worse, manipulation.
If these signs hit close to home… you’re not imagining it. You’re being gaslit.
🔄 Real-Life Example: How I Missed the Signs
I remember one night I cried over something cruel he said, and he looked me in the eyes and said:
"I never said that. You’re imagining things again."
That night, I journaled just to prove to myself it really happened.
That’s how deep the self-doubt had gotten.
In support groups, I’ve heard the same stories:
Conversations erased. Feelings minimized. Reality rewritten.
😵💫 Why You Feel Crazy (And Why It’s Not Your Fault)
Gaslighting attacks the core of who you are — it makes you question:
✅ Your intuition
✅ Your memories
✅ Your worth
"Gaslighting is slow and insidious. It’s not one lie or one manipulation. It’s an erosion of your sanity."
— Dr. Ramani Durvasula
When your reality is constantly denied, your brain enters survival mode, trying to reconcile truth vs. manipulation. That emotional whiplash leads to internal chaos.
🔋 How to Reclaim Your Power
You can break free. Here’s what helped me take back control:
💚 Affirmations That Helped Me
- I am not too sensitive. My feelings are valid.
- I deserve respect and peace.
- I trust my inner voice.
- It’s not my job to fix someone who keeps hurting me.
✏️ Journaling Prompts
- When did I first begin to doubt myself?
- What would I say to a friend in my situation?
- What patterns do I want to break?
🌟 Join a Support Group
Find healing in shared stories and support:
- Reddit: r/NarcissisticAbuse
- Local or online trauma recovery circles
You don’t have to go through this alone. Validation is power.
⛔ When and How to Set Boundaries
Boundaries saved my life. Here’s how I started:
- I stopped explaining myself.
- I stopped engaging with manipulation.
- I blocked their number.
Start small:
Say no. Hang up. Walk away. Reclaim your voice, your time, your peace.
🧠 Healing Your Nervous System After Chronic Gaslighting
Chronic stress changes your body. I couldn’t sleep. I had panic attacks.
Here’s what helped me feel safe again:
🧘♀️ Breathwork: Try box breathing (4 in, 4 hold, 4 out, 4 hold)
🌀 Movement: Gentle yoga or trauma-informed workouts
🎧 Music: Empowering playlists
🌿 Nature: Daily walks, grounding barefoot
"You can’t heal in chaos. You need peace to process trauma."
— Nedra Glover Tawwab, therapist and author
📬 Resources for Recovery
📚 Books That Helped
- The Gaslight Effect by Dr. Robin Stern
- Should I Stay or Should I Go? by Dr. Ramani
- Dodging Energy Vampires by Dr. Christiane Northrup
📢 Emergency Hotlines
- 🇺🇸 U.S.: National Domestic Violence Hotline — 800-799-7233
- 🇬🇧 UK: Women’s Aid Live Chat or Helpline
- 🇰🇪 Kenya: Gender-Based Violence Hotline — 1195
🙏 Final Words
If this resonated with you, know this:
🧡 You are not broken. You are healing.
🧡 You are not overreacting. You are waking up.
🧡 You don’t owe anyone your silence.
Gaslighting thrives in silence. The more we speak, the less power it has.
You are allowed to walk away. You are allowed to take your power back.
If you found this helpful, please share it.
Another sister might need these words right now.
Healing is contagious. Let’s rise together. ✨
