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Why You Feel Crazy After Narcissistic Abuse (And Why It’s Not Your Fault)

Published on Aug 04, 2025

Why You Feel Crazy After Narcissistic Abuse (And Why It’s Not Your Fault)

🤯 Why You Feel Crazy (And Why It’s Not Your Fault)

If you've ever found yourself asking, "Why do I feel like I’m going insane?" after a toxic relationship — you're not alone. You're also not crazy. You're likely a survivor of gaslighting, narcissistic manipulation, or emotional abuse. And everything you're feeling right now? Is valid.


🤯 “Why Do I Feel So Crazy?” — Understanding the Fog

One of the most common after-effects of narcissistic abuse is a sense of mental fog — like you're walking through life second-guessing everything. You might feel confused, unsure of what’s real, or even experience panic over simple decisions.

“Gaslighting is mind control to make victims doubt their reality.” — Dr. Robin Stern, author of The Gaslight Effect

This isn't a flaw in you. It's the result of a slow, subtle erosion of your inner compass — done by someone who needed control more than they cared for your wellbeing.

🧠 The Psychology of Gaslighting & Narcissistic Projection

Gaslighting works by feeding you lies so frequently, you begin to distrust your own reality. Narcissists often project their own issues onto you:

  • You catch them cheating → They accuse you of being “too jealous.”
  • You express hurt → You're told you’re “too sensitive.”
  • You try to set boundaries → You’re labeled “toxic” or “manipulative.”

This projection is strategic. It keeps them blameless while shifting all emotional labor onto you.

💣 How Narcissists Break Down Your Identity Over Time

It rarely starts with cruelty. In fact, most narcissistic relationships begin with a "love bombing" phase — intense flattery, attention, and promises of forever.

Then it shifts:

  • Subtle put-downs disguised as jokes
  • Silent treatment when you voice a need
  • Gaslighting your memory of events
  • Isolating you from friends and family

Over time, you become a shell of yourself. But the scariest part? You still crave their validation.

🧩 Confusion, Anxiety, Panic — Normal Responses to Toxic Love

According to trauma therapist Shannon Thomas, these symptoms mirror those of PTSD. And that’s because emotional abuse is traumatic. You might experience:

  • Racing thoughts or obsessive mental replay
  • Fear of being “too much” or “not enough”
  • Hypervigilance — always waiting for the other shoe to drop

These reactions are not overreactions. They are your nervous system's way of protecting you.

🧘‍♀️ You’re Not Broken: Rebuilding Your Emotional Safety

Healing starts when you realize — you were never the problem. You were reacting to an unsafe environment with perfectly normal human emotions.

Start small. Safety isn’t built overnight. Try:

  • Journaling what actually happened (not what you were told)
  • Speaking gently to yourself — the way you would to a friend
  • Listening to your body — anxiety is often wisdom in disguise
“The body always keeps the score.” — Dr. Bessel van der Kolk

🪞 The Power of Naming Your Experience (Validation Heals)

What you went through has a name: gaslighting, emotional abuse, narcissistic manipulation.

Giving language to the pain is part of healing. Because now, instead of blaming yourself, you start to understand the pattern.

👉 Try this: Write down one sentence that names the abuse.
Example: “He made me feel like I was overreacting, but I was right to feel hurt.”

📣 Affirmations to Reclaim Your Truth

Speak these aloud, or write them daily:

  • ✨ I am not too sensitive. I am deeply intuitive.
  • ✨ I did not imagine it. My pain is real.
  • ✨ I have the right to set boundaries.
  • ✨ I trust my inner knowing more every day.
  • ✨ I deserve peace, not chaos.

🚶‍♀️ How to Start Trusting Yourself Again

After narcissistic abuse, your self-trust is shattered. But here’s the truth:

“Self-trust isn't something you're born with — it's something you earn, moment by moment.” — Lisa Olivera, therapist

Here are some gentle ways to build it:

  • Make a small promise to yourself daily — and keep it
  • Say “no” even when it feels uncomfortable
  • Celebrate your wins — no matter how small

🛟 Where to Get Support (Hotlines, Therapy, Online Spaces)

You don’t have to heal alone. Here are resources to support your journey:

  • Domestic Violence Hotline (US): 1−800−799−7233
  • BetterHelp: Online therapy with licensed professionals
  • r/NarcissisticAbuse: Supportive Reddit community
  • Lisa A. Romano YouTube: Videos on healing codependency and gaslighting

🌸 Healing isn’t about going back to who you were. It’s about becoming who you were always meant to be — before the gaslighting dimmed your light.


🛍️ Recommended Tools for Recovery

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About the Author

Daniel Milo

Written by Daniel Milo

Daniel Milo is the founder of SmartExaminers and an experienced education consultant. His life’s passion is to help people discover their meaning for existence by unlocking their hidden purpose and potential — empowering them to become who they were truly born to be.

📞 Chat with Daniel on WhatsApp

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